I was recently referred by a mental health professional to read a book called “Splitopia”. While searching for it, I came across a website established by the author, Wendy Paris. While I haven’t had a chance to read the book yet, I read her article, Happily Ever, After We Split in the NY Times.
I am lucky that I have an ex-spouse with whom I also have a wonderful ongoing relationship that is filled with mutual caring and support. We raised our son together in divorce from about age 5 and he is now a very well adjusted, independent, successful, thriving 24 year old. There were many bumps and bruises along the way, times of dispute, anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, and so much more, but through it all, we were able to maintain a good relationship.
I consider her my friend and co-parent and I believe she considers me to be the same. She remarried, has a wonderful husband with whom I also have a good relationship, and a step-son whom she raised to be a fine young man, currently serving in the US Marine Corps. We sometimes (not often enough) get together for lunch or coffee and talk by phone once a month or so. My good relationship with my son’s mother has allowed me to have so much peace in my life. And, by the way, we never saw the inside of a courtroom! I wish this for all of my clients!